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At 4:04pm Last night, I officially became Uncle Vince. My sister gave birth to a 22 inch tall, 10lb baby girl-Mary LuciaRose Turner (MLT). I hope to have pictures up later in the week.

Growing up, I never really wanted a child of my own, I didn't believe I could deal with what my parents dealt with. And I knew I didn't want to be like my Godfather in the way he didn't have his son till he was in his late 30's and now he's mid-50's trying to deal with a teenager. So in my late 20's, while married, The Ex and I discussed having children. We agreed to do it once she was done with school. I even had her agreed that in the slim chance we had a boy and girl twins that we could name them Clark and Addison.

But then Theresa had the brain surgery and school fell on the back burner to health. Then when she was ready to go back to school, I was out of work with my back problems, and school had to wait again so she could support us for two months. And the next thing you know, we'd been together for 4 years and had not gone foreword in our lives. Then torward the end of the relationship, I found out, from her cousin, that Theresa was pregnant. I wasn't supposed to know this, and to this day, my parents are convinced it was the Ex's way at hurting me one last time before she left me. She had it aborted. When I asked her about it she said that she wasn't even sure it was mine.

Now I've never really been one that was against Abortion 100%. I believe that Abortion is OK if you were raped. I also believe that the law should read that in order to have an Abortion, you must be willing to file a police report on the father. But to do it because she couldn't deal with a black baby (if it wasn't mine) or a baby after a failed marriage, wasn't right.

In two months I'll be 32, and I came to the realization over the last year that I will never have a child of my own. So at 4:04 last night I was overjoyed not only for my sister and her husband, but for me a little to because I realized that this will probably be the closest I come to experiencing the miracle of life.

This child will be so spoiled.

IT'S PUT UP OR SHUT UP TIME.

My parents met doing Comedy Theatre together at Depaul University. My mother was 8 months pregnant with me while she was performing in "Two by Two" in Chicago. All my life I have been exposed to Comedy and Theatre but have never done anything with it till I got into radio.

About 13 years ago I dropped out of NIU because I felt I didn't need school to move ahead in life. In 1995 I went to the Illinois Center for Broadcasting and reveived a degree in Radio Broadcasting. I even attended some classes at Collumbia College in Chicago for Broadcasting. I had a good 5 year radio carrer, during that time I met a few men that helped me learn a few rules of Comedy, Harry Teinowitz & Spike Manton. They even got me to go to amatuer night at a Comedy club once and do 5 minutes (I think I only did 3 cause I rushed thru it).

What does all of this have to do with going back to school you ask??

I registered for begining Improv classes at Second City today.

Ever since the new owners took over at my job, I've been asking myself what else am I good at in life. and the only answer I've ever come to is making people laugh. So where this leads me, who knows? But anybody who was there for me when I hit bottom, know that if I become famous with this, I won't forget you. And if I don't become famous, know I'll do all I can to make you laugh.

A bit of a history lesson here, as well as some more poetry.

When I started this blog is was to help my friends and family know what's going on with my life. But since I really don't have a life I have been trying to express some of my few talents: Rhyming , Poetry, Lyrics, Comedy, and my love of sports.
but enough about me...to the history lesson. Of all the Cubs in the Hall Of Fame, Some think that Johnny Evers and Joe Tinker don't belong and that the only reason they made it was because of a 1910 poem by Franklin Pierce Adams called "Baseball's Sad Lexicon" (See Link). Being a Cub fan, I disagree, but not because of their stats. Evers, Tinkers, & Chance (and 3rd baseman Harry Steinfeldt) led the Cubs to three straight World Series in 1906, 07, & 08, and they won two of those. In my oppinion, that whole team belongs in.

But on to another rant that will lead to my final reason for this posting. I have a part time job at a White Hen and late at night, after all my cleaning is done and I'm waiting for the clock to strike midnight, I read the magizines in the store and somthing appeared last night that brought on the biggest chills of happiness thru my body that I've had since Nathan Vashers 108 yard return vs. the 49ers. What brought on that chill you ask? The First Baseball Fantasy Guide of 2006.

With all the excitment about the Super Bowl this week, I almost forgot that Pitchers and Catchers report to spring training on February 15th. The Day after many Hallmark Executive are smiling, I will be smiling too knowing that the White Sox and Cubs have the same record again.

So...to the reason I posted, as I was reading this Magizine I realized that "Pitchers and Catchers Report" has the same rythem as "Evers to Tinker, to Chance" so I looked up the poem (did I mention to see the link) and wanted to mordernize it, becase I have nothing better to do than writte parodies that no one will hear but me and a few friends and relitives ("Ain't it be Ebonics" & "Night Court Reruns") so if you wanted to see the original poem, google it (or see the link) and here's my version:

These are the greatest of possible words:
"Pitchers and Catchers Report"
Two weeks to go now for us baseball nerds,
"Pitchers and Catchers Report"
Letting us forget 'bout Bears and the Panthers,
figuring out who is our second batter,
The Beaver, as always, will be Jerry Mathers.
"Pitchers and Catchers Report"

(It's hard to find somthing to rhyme with Panthers)